Dating a sex addict woman
Instead of seeing transparency as a punishment or a hindrance, the addict must come to view it as rock-solid security measure again potential relapse, where relapse would eliminate all chances at personal happiness.
The realm of healthy dating may seem strange for other reasons as well.
Regardless of the particular brand of sex addiction, this stage of reentry into the dating pool is critical for every sex addict.
It cannot be rushed, underestimated or faced alone anymore than the early emergency stages of recovery could be when the addict was hitting bottom.
In fact, the author would recommend the addict to stay away from further encounters so there could be no more "potential victims" until the problem is solved.
If the addict is out there doing things with more victims, he/she is not under control and is not listening to the advice of anybody in the help groups anyway.
Compulsive sex is the fast food of relationships, and developing a taste for the slow-cooked meal may take some time.
Here the experienced therapist can be of huge assistance by reminding the sex addict that dating is not a race, nor a competition, but rather an adventure into the complete unknown where everything the addict thought they knew about intimacy turned out to be false, and a whole new universe must open up in order to move forward. Before recovery, the sex addict made decisions independently, choosing who to date, whom to have sex with, who to contact and what acts to participate in.
This impossible ‘slowness’ that intimacy requires may frustrate and confuse the addict, who no doubt is in a rush to form a relationship after so many months spent healing in celibacy.If the "victim" is rushing into sex, they are setting themselves up (whether the sex is with an addict or not, imo.).This article is about sober dating, and what it should look like.After all, addiction tends to arrest people emotionally, and in recovery they often surface at the point from which they left off, feeling, for instance, like a 20-year old trapped in a 35-year old’s body.
Here the therapist can offer gentle, loving encouragement to try giving people their own age a chance.However, once in therapy, there inevitably comes a day when the sex addict is ready to embark on that daunting journey we call dating.For a man who has spent years, if not decades, relating to porn actresses on a computer screen, encountering a flesh and blood partner can seem unpredictable and terrifying.So if a wife/girlfriend complains that her husband/boyfriend wants sex all the time and is there for a "sex addict", she is wrong?